Where Did You Go?
by ClaireBear1982
Summary: It's been ten years since Marlene left Sirius all of a sudden, and now she's back, with a big surprise for him.
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry(Challenges and Assignments)

Arithmancy assignment #10

Task: For this assignment, I want you to write me a story about someone returning after ten years.

Where Have You Been?

Sirius crashed awake from the same nightmare that had plagued his dreams for the last ten years. The last time he saw her, the one person he thought would be with him forever. His mind kept taking him back to the last night he'd seen her, and the events that transpired.

They'd had one almighty fight and some very harsh, and bitter words had been said between them. Sirius could still remember the way her face had crumpled, and she'd collapsed to the floor in a heap; tears streaming down her face. He couldn't remember what had even caused the fight now, no doubt he'd said or done something completely idiotic. All he knew was when he'd woken up the next morning he was all alone.

Sirius sat up in bed, and rubbed his hands over his face, he let out a small implication and pulled the covers off of himself. He glanced at the clock, the dial read Two thirty five in the morning. Sighing, he swung his legs out of bed, and headed to the door to be greeted by the empty darkness of his flat. He softly padded to the living room, flopped down on the sofa and sparked up a cigarette. He inhaled deeply, held it a moment before letting it go again. He sat in silent contemplation for a little while. Where was she? Why did she leave? Most importantly, why the hell couldn't he let go of the past? Was it that he needed closure? Was that he just wanted Marlene back in his arms? How would he react if she did just suddenly reappear? Would he take her back? Or would he finally cast her off, and be able to move on?

By now his head was pounding as thoughts tumbled around inside his head. Leaning forward, he grabbed the closest bottle in front of him on the coffee table, unscrewed the lid and took several massive gulps. The smooth Firewhiskey burned his throat as it made its way down his gullet. He gave a small shudder, willing the alcohol to numb his senses. He was sick of feeling now.

A while later and he was completely plastered. Sirius stumbled from the sofa to the fireplace, he picked up a framed picture of himself and Marlene that had been taken the second to last day of their final year. He could remember it so clearly, despite the state of inebriation. They'd been sat by the Black Lake with James and Lily, Remus, and Peter. The sun had been so hot, the playful breeze that whipped around them had been next to useless. The girls had stripped themselves of their shoes, socks and robes, and gone wadding on the edge of the lake. He could still hear the way Marlene had sighed with pleasure as the cool water lapped at her ankles, he could still remember how animated her face had been as she and Lily had chatted mindlessly about anything and everything.

He could remember so clearly how he'd whipped his robes off, rolled up his trouser legs, taken his shoes and socks off before running up to Marlene and grabbed her from behind and swung her around. He could still hear the squeal of surprise as arms went around her and she was lifted off of her feet. He could still remember how Marlene had playfully told him off, stating that he damn near gave her a heart attack, then had kissed him passionately.

Coming back to the present, Sirius let out a pained scream and threw the picture across the room, shattering the glass that surrounded the photo. He crumpled and collapsed to the floor, his face in his hands as he sobbed heartily. When was it going to end?

'I need another drink,' he thought as he crawled towards the coffee table only to find that all the bottles were empty. He cursed loudly, he just wanted to burn all feeling out of himself, he didn't want to feel anymore.

"Hey mate, how are you?" asked James carefully, given that he knew if he said the wrong thing, Sirius, would likely flare up at him.

"Okay, same as usual," said Sirius in response, the same response he always gave.

Sirius watched James, suddenly he became aware of just how uncomfortable he looked.

"James, what's going on?"

He watched as James rubbed his neck - something he always did when he was put in an uncomfortable position.

"Huh? What?" James replied, looking everywhere but at his best mate.

"James..." said Sirius a warning in his voice.

"She'sbackMarleneisbackLilyspoketoheryesterdayshewantstoseeyou," blurted James all in one go.

"I'm sorry what?" asked Sirius, his heart pounding in his head and chest. "What did you just say?"

He watched as James took a deep breath. This time he spoke slower.

"She's back, Marlene is back. Lily spoke to her yesterday, she wants to see you."

James watched his best mate pale, like seriously pale. But there was nothing he could do from his end as he was using the Floo network. He could only hope Sirius didn't faint.

Sirius sat in silence for the longest time, not moving, he didn't even appear to be breathing.

"Sirius? Sirius? Are you okay buddy?

Slowly, Sirius nodded, all of a sudden his senses came back into being, and he felt like his entire body was on fire. She was back? His heart was racing, and his throat had gone as dry as sandpaper.

"Did she say when she wanted to see me?"

"Hold on."

James pulled his head of the fire and disappeared. Sirius sat on the rug, playing with a small cigarette burn absently, his mind going a million miles per hour. Finally James reappeared in the fire.

"According to Lily, Marlene said she'd Floo you later this afternoon, okay mate?" asked James frowning slightly.

Slowly, Sirius nodded.

"Look I have to go, I'm on lunch duty. Take care mate, let me know how things go."

With that, James was gone. But Sirius hadn't heard him. His brain was turmoil.

Later that afternoon, Sirius finally heard the voice he'd been craving to hear. He was off the sofa in a heartbeat, and was knelt on the fireside rug where just hours ago, James, had told him the earth shattering news.

"Mar?"

"Sirius, I... how are you?" asked Marlene nervously.

"Marlene?" whispered Sirius, his eyes hungrily taking in the sight of her after all these years.

"Yes, Sirius?" she seemed nervous.

Suddenly he flamed into life.

"Where have you been?" he croaked. "I have been out of my mind with worry! I tried looking for you everywhere - but you just seemed to have drop off the face of the earth.

He watched as she bite her lip, and drop her head, when she looked up again, tears were brimming in her once bright blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry I disappeared. I never stopped thinking about you..."

"I've never stopped thinking about you either, and truth be told there's not been anyone since you, you hurt me so badly, I couldn't stand it. I couldn't risk dating anyone else, I didn't want to get hurt again, besides my heart always will belong to you," babbled Sirius, he clapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from showing anymore emotion - because if that floodgate opened, there would be no stopping him.

Marlene looked at him in shock. This wasn't the Sirius she'd known at school, the Sirius she'd known was always full of swagger, and cheek. That was what had been so appealing about him. This Sirius sounded hollow, empty, and broken.

She took a deep breath, before speaking again.

"Can we talk? Face to face? I don't want to explain things like this," asked Marlene in a small voice.

"Yeah sure, why not," said Sirius shrugging, he was desperately trying to hold it together.

He gave her the address, and got up, leaving Marlene to stare at the opposite wall for a moment before she disappeared with a small pop.

She arrived with a loud crack that alerted Sirius of her arrival. He walked into the living room, and there she was stood on the rug looking extremely nervous and timid. It filtered into Sirius' mind that this wasn't the Marlene he'd loved and known at school. Back then she's been bright, bubbly and vibrant. They stared at each other, eyes raking the other, looking for something they'd both once known of the other. But now, there was nothing, ten years apart had done its damage.

Marlene surveyed the living room, it was a mess. A jumble of old Daily Prophet's were stacked on the coffee table, along with numerous empty Firewhiskey bottles. Empty plates and cups littered the floor. It was then she realised that the curtains stood half open, and the light was becoming rather poor. She spotted the broken photo frame in the corner of the room, she automatically started to move towards it having recognised it. But Sirius cut her off.

"Leave it, come and sit down," said Sirius quietly indicating towards the sofa.

Marlene merely nodded and moved to sit down.

As she walked past him, he reached out and grabbed her, he pulled her tight against his chest and held her there. At first he felt her stiffen in his embrace, but then she seemed to melt and slowly her arms inched around his waist.

Now she was closer to him, he could see those big blue eyes, the eyes that he'd fallen into every time he'd held her glance. Once they'd seemed so big and alive, so full of love and fun, now they just seemed... dead.

Now that he was closer to her, she could see those wide grey eyes, the eyes that she'd fallen into every time she'd held his glance. Once they'd seemed so round and full of mischief, so full of love and fun, now they just seemed... so sad.

"Sirius, I think we should sit down," said Marlene a few moments later. "I have something I need to tell you."

Sirius let go so they could move towards the sofa. Once they were sat, Marlene began to explain why she'd left.

"Sirius, please don't interrupt me okay? I'm so sorry for what happened that day, I was completely freaking out about... stuff. I knew the only way I would be able to deal with that stuff was to provoke you into a fight, that way, I knew it would be easier for me to just go. I didn't want to do it, but I was absolutely terrified, I was out of my mind I was so scared. I thought if he parted on such bad terms that maybe you'd find it easier to move on and find someone worthy, someone who could give you what I couldn't."

Sirius just frowned. He couldn't make head nor tail of what Marlene was on about. What did she mean 'stuff?' what stuff? He had to speak up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean stuff? What stuff? What had you frightened so much? Did someone threaten you? Was it Adam? I swear if your brother had anything to do with this, I'm going to pulverise him!"

"Sirius..."

"Well? What the bloody hell happened? I think you owe me that much Mar! I've spent the last ten years blaming myself for something that wasn't my fault," spat Sirius.

"I was pregnant..." said Marlene suddenly.

The word 'pregnant' seemed to ring like a church bell into the silence of the living room.

"I was pregnant with our daughter," said Marlene, looking everywhere but at Sirius.

"Wait? I have a daughter?" spluttered Sirius. "You didn't think to tell me, that I have a daughter!"

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I didn't know what your reaction would be, we were both so young, only seventeen, I wanted you to have a life not be lumbered with a missus and a kid."

"You had no right to that Mar, only I could have made that decision! How dare you make a decision like that without consulting me first, I had every right to know. You evil, spiteful, selfish cow! I have a daughter who I have never even seen, I never had a chance to watch her grow up, she must be what? nine now? I can't believe you of all people would do this to me, I really can't! How could you?"

"I'm sorry, you're right, but you have to understand I was out of mind in fear..."

"That as the case may have been, you still should have told me Mar! This was something big and important that we should have spoken about, but no you ran away and left me..."

"I know, and I don't think I'll ever be able to make that up to you," Marlene whispered almost inaudibly.

Ten years had really changed Marlene, once upon a time, she would have been yelling and chucking things at him.


End file.
